Hopefully you read Part One posted earlier today. Please don’t be mistaken by what I said though. Even though I encourage not telling men exactly what your “body count” is, you definitely need to keep track of the accurate number. Women should know when enough is enough and you’re teetering on the line between sexually liberated and just plain loose.
Here are some tips and helpful hints for you ladies who wish to alter your number, but aren’t quite sure how! There are some guidelines. You can’t just pick an arbitrary number, because some of them just don’t make sense.
- One Night Stands – this one may seem obvious, however not all one night stands can be eliminated. If it happened once, and you never spoke to them again, or you see him/her and always walk the other way avoiding eye contact, you don’t have to count it. [An exception to this rule is if you steadily have one night stands with people… you can’t eliminate them all!] BUT, if you’re friends with this person and you had sex with them… when you get into your next relationship, you have to tell your significant other that you’ve had sex with this “friend”.
- If you don’t remember it, you can’t count it!– I don’t mean the times you got super drunk and went home with someone (although some of you might want to exclude those times from your number as well). I’m talking about the time you just weren’t sure penetration occurred. If it started and finished before you had full knowledge of the interaction… it doesn’t count! LoL trust me this has happened to me more than once… it was just over before I even knew he’d begun… you better believe that those 2 encounters have been crossed off my list!
- All relationships count!- Even if you hate him now, if he was once considered the man in your life. You MUST count him. It doesn’t even make sense (for most adults in 2010) to have a lower sex count than relationship count. AND if you’re like me, and you always get stuck in the “talking to” stage for years at a time, all of those count too. I don’t think anyone would believe me if they knew I was seeing this guy for 1.5 years and we never got it in… if we weren’t having sex, I probably would’ve left! LoL
- Oral Sex/Hand Jobs/Toys (Manual)- If there was only tongue/hand action and especially if it wasn’t my hand or mouth, it doesn’t count. If the woman is the one doing the penetrating and he doesn’t penetrate her. . .It counts!! No matter how much he denies it. (LMAO!! This is CocktailJay’s input) Toys… that’s not real sex… LoL ß this entire bullet was meant for my amusement.
- Time- Honestly sometimes I just don’t count it if it was a really long time ago and I don’t care for the person. They don’t make it onto my public count. However, time isn’t an eliminator for everyone. Of course people like your “first” do count, and like I said already, your exes always count. But I’m not telling my current interest about that “one time, in high school. . .” ::band camp voice:: He just doesn’t need to know that.
Okay, I’m done for now. But PLEASE keep in mind that not all of these apply to my own life, and these are hypothetical situations! I don’t follow these rules to the T. I haven’t even experienced all of these situations. I am just putting out my opinion (with a few embellishments & some humor). ALSO I think that in an actual relationship you should feel safe enough to divulge your actual number with your partner. I reserve my Public Count for people who are just being nosey and for men I’m just dating/flinging with. I guess any man I get into a relationship with better wait until we make it official to ask me the big question if he wants a definite answer!
P.S. – I got a few angry men contacting me today about Part One… maybe this will answer some of your questions, maybe it’ll make it worse… Please leave ALL concerns in the COMMENTS section. Do NOT Facebook me, google wave me, email my personal account, or Twitter me on my personal Twitter account (hit me up on @FrenchKissez is you must)!! It’s just a blog people.
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French Kissez 
Personally, I feel that if “it” happened then it counts — Period. That goes for relationships, flings, one night stands, etc. I think the only one that doesnt always count is when you have drunken sex that you can’t quite recall. You have to remember it to say it happened, right? Oral sex counts to me. If a woman tells me that she had oral sex with Thomas, then I’m gonna look at it as an encounter. Afterall, she put her mouth on his dick. That’s way too intimate to overlook. LOL! I also think that couples shouldn’t worry about each other’s sleep numbers. It’s just not necessary.
This is like asking white people to give their experiences on being racially profiled. You can’t comment, because it doesn’t apply to you. Men, stop trying to answer these questions. You don’t know what its like for women… you’re biased in this situation.
Accept that and just stop being so judgmental.
Boy am I glad I’m a virgin
You already know how I feel… I dont agree with this premise at all! Face it, if it happened, IT HAPPENED! It makes things worse for females. Why do you ax?? well… it just perpetuates what we assume anyway… that you are shaving points. If you dont want somebody to know the real number, just tell him it aint his binis, its better than lying. What can you do about it? work on the double standard part… and hope for the best.
I don’t understand, not being sarcastic I just don’t understand. Why not just say “a little more than a few, a few less than a lot” or “no commnet”. The latter always worked for me with no real issues, no need to fudge or lie about the numbers.
It works for you because you are a man. Men do not accept a simple “no comment” when they ask a woman how many other men she’s had sex with. And if he does accept that as a response he’s usually deducted from it that she has slept with a lot of men.
I concede that most will assume the worst but I think you underestimate your ability to shape that impression. When I did it, some thought I was a virgin, some thought I was being coy and had been with a lot of women. In the conversations there was still room to shift opinions or at least create enough uncertainty. Either way IMO someone makeing a false assumption is better than the fib, especially rounding up..disappointment on the road ahead with that one!