Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! You’re FAR Too Kind!

Last night I got the best surprise I’ve had in a while!

My sister called me and said she had an extra Jay-Z ticket and I could go with her if I wanted! *SCORE!!!* (Shout out to the big sister for making good things rain on me this week!) I didn’t even mind standing outside in the rain as I waited for her while she was stuck in traffic on her way from DC to Baltimore. I was going to see HOV who cares if I’m wet!!

I came home from the concert last night and tweeted this :

“I have no energy to get undressed and ready for bed… Jay wore me out!! He got me more excited than most sex I’ve had this year! … :-/”

Sadly, it’s true… The concert was so amazing. I didn’t sit down once! We missed Wale who was one part of the opening act, but were in time to see Pharell and N.E.R.D. All of this culminated into the best sex I’ve had all year and I didn’t even have to take my clothes off or fake the excitement! Granted, this “drought” is self-induced, but the few times I did do “the grown up” it usually didn’t get me there… ::Big Siiigh:: maybe the next time I get intimate I’ll blast some Jay in the background. Just an idea.

Anyway, THANKS again to my sister for bringing me along. I green with envy all day from everyone tweeting about the concert and I just KNEW I wasn’t going! But I did, and for FREE.99 at that! ❤ !

(shout out to MSU for being DEEP in the arena last night! Felt something like homecoming again, lol)

THANKS A BUNCH!

FRENCH KISSEZ REACHED 3,000 VIEWS TODAY!!!! WHOO HOOO!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Oh Yeah and don’t forget to check out my first feature in Showoff Magazine!! Today was definitely a GREAT DAY!!

Feelin’ Like Charlie Brown… With An “Eff It” Attitude

Doesn’t it always happen this way … I have an “I really don’t give a sh*t” attitude lately about most men. But now that there’s a guy that I may actually be open to getting to know a lil better , I think He’s Just Not That Into Me. . .

ah well… Moving on! smh

Bottles and Models. . . and Poles

WEEKEND RECAP!

Who knew that people over 30 REALLY knew how to party?? I had sooo much fun this weekend with my sister and her friends celebrating her birthday! I won’t put her age out there on the blogisphere though.

The night started with a pole party with a professional instructor showing us how to keep our men happy. . . or in my case attract one! I learned that even my petite ass can in fact “clap”… LMAO… good food & good company.  THEN there was the party bus, equipped with more poles (uhh do you see the theme?)! I must admit I got caught up in the excitement and took a few pics spinning around the pole… hopefully those don’t surface to ruin my impending political career! (actually this blog might do that on it’s own, smh) Drinks were flowing, just to take us to the club down the block. Once inside, we received VIP treatment… there were SO many bottles being popped at her table, I’m sure I would have had a hangover even if I didn’t indulge in the fuckery! Did I mention it was also Howard Homecoming so DC was extra live with HU alumni all over the place (my sis being one of them).

Some drunken short dude accosted my airspace with his outrageous breath and one of my sister’s guy friends came to my rescue. He would not take no for an answer! Sorry dude, I’m not giving you my number!

Anyway, I didn’t get home until 5:30 in the AM and I’m sure if my girl didn’t have to be at work an hour later, we would have been in DC until the sun came up. You know winter is approaching and the sun doesn’t come up until like 7:00 now. LoL

Anyway that was Saturday, REWIND to Friday night… I was caught up in the most confusing text message conversations of my year with this dude… hmm I guess I’ll keep my promise and keep him out of my blog, but let me just say this: You were wildin’ and I’m not really sure why you seem to be so emotional, but it’s not attractive, and it’s pretty annoying!

I don’t like when people project what they THINK I mean onto what I’m actually saying. . . really I’m the type of person who says what I mean, and I’m honest. So, I find it frustrating when I feel like I’m trying to prove to someone that that’s who I really am. It drives me nuts. Don’t look for hidden messages in my words. There may be certain situations in which I do not talk a lot, but that doesn’t mean I’m being sneaky, it just means I don’t have anything to say, or I’m not ready to let you know what’s on my mind yet. But believe that when I do have something to say, it will be genuine. . . and that is all I have to say about THAT!

Annnd on Sunday I actually laid in my bed the ENTIRE day trying to recover from Saturday! Is it possible that I’m still hungover and it’s Monday afternoon?? I really only left my bed after 7pm because I decided that eating that day would be beneficial. So I went alll the way to my second favorite pizza shop to get some pasta, got home and realized they gave me the WRONG order! I was kinda pissed, so I went allll the way back and they gave me a FREE cannoli (I don’t complain about anything free!) with my correct order. I don’t even eat cannolis but it was so pretty! I can’t get with the white creamy stuff that isn’t frosting in my mouth… It’s too much. LoL! Things with a consistency that reminds me of “other things” is a no go for me. tee hee…

Anyway! That’s my whole weekend. . . how was yours??

(P.S. I’m not really a sports fan but uhhh, GO YANKEES!! That’s solely because of the New Yorker in me)

Accidentals

One time as we laid there spent,

He actually said what he meant

He whispered “I love you”

I said “me too”

He never said it again,

Things were never the same,

And that was the end of us.

(a year and a half later he has the nerve to say, “remember when I said I loved you?”, I said “yes but you didn’t tell me on purpose then you acted like you didn’t say it” he says “yes, but I meant it”  . . . ::black stare:: WTF?!  LoL, I dislike him for that…)

Bag Lady Blues

I know this isnt the Bag Lady pic, but I like this one better!

I know this isn't the Bag Lady pic, but I like this one better!

If we’re currently dating, stop reading this post RIGHT NOW! (please and thanks)

(bear with me… I wrote this kinda of “stream of consciousness” style… then I went back and edited slightly, but it’s still kinda all over the place, I wanted to keep it sincere.)
This post idea came from a guy friend of mine.

“that should be the next blog topic bag lady blues and the horror of holding on”

-my friend

We weren’t really talking about me, but people in general. How can you really help but carry your experiences with you when you move on? I think it all depends on the WAY you carry them and HOW you let them effect your moves in your next relationship. You all know I’ve been on some crazy trips traveling on this love train, but I obviously haven’t given up my faith in dating/love completely. But of course the things I’ve been through affect the way I deal with new situations. I wouldn’t necessarily call it baggage though.

Every now and then I do feel the skeptic in my trying to rear it’s head. I can’t help it. I try to give each man a clean slate, but my past experiences help me to gauge whether or not it’s worthwhile. I want a healthy relationship, love and all that jazz but I’m no longer trying to rush it. I do, however, hear my internal clock ticking each time one of my friends tells me they’re pregnant or getting married. And maybe even a tinge of jealousy (lol, I can’t admit it!). I’m not willing to be as careless with my heart as I once was though, so I’m not jumping into anything just for the sake of catching up.

With every man that I stop seeing, I find myself wondering what I saw in him in the first place. I’ve yet to experience a healthy relationship, and I’m 25. I’ve had two actual boyfriends in my adulthood (before college doesn’t count anymore) and several guys that I’ve “dated” forever. I call myself a serial dater because I always find myself in these long-term non-relationships that last for years with no commitment. I guess I don’t really know how to seal the deal. But the two times it has been official, they ended right at the 6 month mark… #FMDL! [<– f*ck my dating life] I think I may be not so secretly salty about that. I don’t quite feel like a fully developed adult. The other day I was discussing this with CocktailJay and telling her all the things I do at my own expense to make someone else happy and she told me I don’t need a man, I need a child! WTHeck?! Doesn’t she know I’m afraid of babies??

I just need a grown man who knows how to share the load 50/50 and we’ll be fine. I’m willing to compromise some things so that we can BOTH be happy. I’m just no longer willing to be the one carrying the load all of the time, which I think is usually my downfall in men. I don’t think I’ve ever really known how to just “let a man be a man”… I want to be both! I want to nurture and take care of things. I’ve never really given anyone the opportunity to take care of me, be there for me. I’m not even sure anyone has been willing, but I haven’t given myself a chance to find out… Maybe it’s some deep seeded issue with my parents, LoL who knows? I’m no psychiatrist.

My friend Samantha pointed out to that I may have an issue with “middle ground”. LoL I want to go all in or nothing at all… I might need to do some further introspection on this idea. She’s pretty insightful, so maybe she’s seen this in me. I’m either REALLY into a guy, or not interested at all. I haven’t really just let myself go with the flow. It’s a control thing. I’m working on it, I’ve been in so many ambiguous relationships that the lines have gotten sooo blurry. . . (eeek! writing this may have negated my earlier statment that I don’t have bag lady issues! I’m human, sue me!)

CocktailJay, who I treat like my therapist because she’s always helping me rationalize the craziness, challenged me to approach my new situations by doing the OPPOSITE of everything I feel to do instinctively. Eek! It’s hard fighting against what myself wants to do. But I’m finding myself a lil more carefree in dating life. I’m not feeling attached to anyone and I’m giving each experience a chance to prove itself worth it before I invest anything (emotional or physical) into it. Not to say that I’m succeeding 100% in this new theory, but I’m TRYING.

All of that is well and good, I say I’m not rushing it now. . . but I WILL freak out if I’m not in at least a serious relationship by the time I find my first gray hair (and I pray I find it on my head and not somewhere south or else my heart will surely break!). I don’t want to settle so you guys keep your eyes open for a promising gentleman for me who doesn’t mind being slightly patient! LoL, I’m open to suggestions, but I need references. 😛

(if we’re dating and you read this anyway. . . now you can consider yourself warned! LoL)

(if we’ve dated in the past, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!! LMAO j/k)

Intuition

Hey Lovelies! I know I haven’t posted in a while. But I think I have something you will like today. Here is another post tagged to our “Other’s Kissez” category!

Read what happened to Miss Mistress of Intuition…


Short, tall, medium, small…chocolate , light, however you like… I’m starting to believe that all men are in fact the same! It’s situations like this that just make good women like myself just want to throw in towel.

-The pursuit
So I met this guy about a year ago. I mean he was ok… he had the whole t.d.h. (Tall dark and handsome) thing going on. He seemed cool so after much hesitation and procrastination a month later I decided, why not! Every thing was great…at first( isn’t that the way it always is though). Everything from surprise dates,  to great conversation this guy seemed like, one of the good ones.  He always told me he was dating other people until he found the right one , and I respected him for his honesty. Although he gave me the world, I didn’t expect much from him because of this reason and there was just something that kept telling me to hold back. So I did. For weeks, sometimes months at a time. He’d blow up every line of communication I had,cell, email, you name it…even a suprise visit to my job, just to say hi. Although I never dated him consistently, we were good friends, and like I said I respected the fact that he was always honest with me.  Not that I was trying to be a tease but, until I figured out what didn’t seem right, I wasn’t about to put all my eggs in one basket.

-A few months later . . .
So now we’ve come to late august early september and for some reason me and this guy have become heavier and heavier. It seemed like we were actually dating…for more than a period at a time. So being the woman I am, I don’t like wasting my time, so I decided to have the “talk” about where this was going. And based off that conversation we had, I was finally convinced that maybe, just maybe, I can let a few walls down and try to build something more…because he seemed ready. Boy was I wrong……….

-The climax and ending

One night, I decided to be nice pick him up from work so we could spend time together at his apartment. Everything’s going great until we get back to his apartment and the doorbell rings.  He proceeds to tell, (not ask me) to go into his bedroom . Ok ( after all, I don’t like to judge a situation without more information)… I did it… but about 10 minutes after realizing he was no where to be found, I put on my stuff and proceeded to the door. And what do I find? He’s there chatting it up with some chick! So being the reserved woman I am, I walk right past them with just a look, and walked to my car. Then I’m not sure at what point it happened but the gangsta in me took control and sped right back over there and made the FINAL confrontation. After talking with this girl it turns out this lil busta has a had a girlfriend for three months and she even has his key! Not to mention they’re planning a vacation away for christmas! Oh no he didn’t. And that easily, I went from the “good potential girl” to “side piece” without any warning. Luckily his “girlfriend” was passive and corny, so she didn’t say much which worked out well in her favor because I would have had to shut her up quickly. Enraged I began to talk to him, asking the usual, “why didn’t you just say something…I wouldve let you go… I didn’t even need your sorry ass”…blah blah blah.. After he said absolutely nothing, he proceeded to just barely look at me and push ME out! With a look that spoke a thousand words of how much I didn’t mean to him…but she did after a few months.  Okay kicking me out is fine, but ummmm  I wasn’t finished yet dammit! So after a couple punches to his head,  and the launching of my keys to his face, I was finally out the door which he slammed in my face. I hope this time I left a mark, he can remember.

Moral of this story: Your first instinct is your best instinct.

As for his “girlfriend”, sadly, by him kicking me out, she’ll probably stay with him and deal with all his corney bullshit. Looking passed the humiliation and anger, I was actually the lucky one.  I wish her pathetic ass all the best.

Signed,
The Mistress of Intuition