“Almost Doesn’t Count . . . and Neither Does This!” ( Part I )

We all know that we live in a world full of double standards between men and women. Men are allowed– encouraged even, to embrace and explore their sexual prowess. And on the other hand, women are taught as little girls not to bring their milkshakes to every little boy’s yard. In fact, don’t even think about milkshakes! And if you happen to start making milkshakes, only VANILLA! LoL in other words, real ladies are supposed to be sexually meek and mildly mannered.

In this day and age when we are surrounded by sexual images everywhere from the innuendos in cartoons to booty poppin’ in videos & random hookups on reality tv, the “good-girl” expectations have become more and more unrealistic. I really believe these “rules” also lead to sexual frustration among women (and the men who want to do them) if they are to be followed. How do you explain to your man the reason he’s only getting missionary when he saw some chick in a movie the other day doing a headstand?? Mild-mannered women just can’t compete! Fact. If what he wants is a corkscrew and all he’s getting from his woman is a regular, he will find the “freak” to give it to him. I’m all for pulling out all the tricks to please someone I’m in a committed relationship with. However, it doesn’t make me any less of a lady… You gotta practice the tricks, and men are quicker to give up on or step outside of a relationship they aren’t sexually satisfied in. I’m not encouraging women to be loose with their sexual activities, but I’m not the type of person to call another woman a whore because she’s practicing her craft. So what is a woman to do?

I think it’s deplorable that men still call women who are 25 and older “rollers” just because they may know of one or maybe two men she’s slept with. Maybe her sleep number is at a 10. I don’t think that’s a whore. I think that’s a woman who may not have found exactly what she’s looking for yet. Things happen in every interaction with a man, maybe he used her, maybe things just didn’t work out between them. If her sleep number is at a 7, or a 10 shoot, even a 15 I don’t think she should be judged. When a man of the same age who has slept with 15 women is not branded with a bad reputation but applauded and encouraged to “keep going, don’t settle down, you’re too young!” Well if all of the 25-27 year old men are on number 15 and not ready to settle down, what are the young women supposed to be doing while waiting for him to finish sowing his oats? Act like we don’t experience the same urges? Let’s be realistic. These men aren’t sleeping with imaginary women, so why should they be considered hoes?

I refuse to be honest about the number of men I’ve slept with, and I encourage ALL women to alter their count as well. If it’s high, lower it, and if it’s low, raise it! It’s no one’s business anyway. Either way, you shall be judged and he probably won’t believe you. Plus, some encounters just DO NOT count! 😉

This got a little long-winded, so I’m going to put up a separate post on how to edit your numbers. Which partners “legitimately” just don’t count, and which ones you cannot escape!



  1. I agree with you on everything except altering your number… To me, the number shouldn’t matter at all… Male or female. You could range from 10 to 100+, but to me, it shouldn’t matter. What should matter is (1) you are disease free, (2) you practice safe sex, (3) you aren’t out increasing that number while in a committed relationship (4) that you respect yourself and your partner by having a open and honest conversation when the time calls for it…

    Also, don’t sit and judge someone elses behavior when your number rivals (or in some cases exceeds) theirs…

  2. I totally agree with what you said about women being judged too loosely based on their “sleep number.” There is no set number for which a woman should find the right one. If she seriously dated a number if men and those relationships didn’t work out, it dosent make her a hoe, if she slept with each man. Honestly, I always thought of a hoe as a woman who uses sex as her ticket to everything (money, job promotion, favors, etc.)

  3. I’m not sure how I feel about people lying about their number. Keep it 100 (being honest, don’t just say you’ve done 100). Until you’re in a serious relationship (& possibly even after), it shouldn’t matter how many people you’ve been with. Just honestly and truly give 100% to the person you’re with. If you don’t then its just going to be another person on your hit list.

    And maybe some guys are encouraged to try out different women like their new flavors at Cold Stone, but those aren’t the dudes who are the marrying type. Men have to have standards too. And women live in double standards too…women have to be open and honest to truly be “experimental” with their partners. Don’t say you’re not going to do something because you’ve never done it before. Once upon a time there was only 1 flavor or ice cream…don’t be scarred to try new things…you may like it.

    …Now that’s enough of me being long winded…

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