Oooh, Girl! He’s HOT!

Have you met any good looking guys recently who seem to suffer from “Hot Guy Syndrome”?? You know what I’m referring to. Those good looking guys who know they’re hot and therefore refuse to try. They don’t use their manners, and chivalry which may not have in fact died, is a certified ghost to them. They expect you to prove to them you’re worthy of their attention rather than the other way around. And they can act this way because they look good and surprisingly, this attitude works for them because there are women who will jump through hoops to get closer to them because they’re thinking of what their future children together will look like, and the jealous stares they’ll receive from other women when they’re out in public because the man on their own arm isn’t quite as handsome, or they’re alone.

Anyway, I’m here today to say that I have fallen victim to the Hot Guy once in the past… okay maybe twice. I was just thinking about the stupid, uncharacteristic things I used to do for once dude in particular. He definitely wasn’t worth it. And turns out of course I wasn’t the only one at the time that he had thinking there was a possibility of being with him. And even now after we stopped seeing each other, stopped physically being with each other, yet remained in contact, he tells me things that make me feel kinda sorry for the women who are smitten with him. He acknowledges that he knows he’s a good catch and it’s hard (for Black women in particular) to find a dude with his same qualities (very handsome, black, educated, gainfully employed, home owner, foreign car driving, etc) and he can’t help but take advantage of it. Self-admittedly, knowing at the statistics of single women in his age group looking for a certain demographic of men that he fits into, makes him even less inclined to settle down now, or date monogamously because he has soooo many options!  Sometimes, like now, when I think about it, I don’t know if I can blame him either. Yeah, it’s wrong in my opinion but I see his logic.

So what is a woman to do?? Anyway, I’m not a lion in a circus and I’m not jumping through any burning hoops! I wrote before about my affinity to men with “medium tools” and I’m letting y’all know today that I will also be completely happy with a dude who is “nice-looking”. LoL! Although every now and then when I first meet a man I may be interested in I have those “hmm I wonder what a daughter with him would look like… ” Don’t judge me. 😉



  1. Just because you are able to (legally) do something, doesn’t mean you should do it (morally). I don’t believe the point of this post was to say a man should “settle down or DATE monogamously”, but instead to say, “You’re a super-hot hottie, but not hot enough to not put forth an effort when dealing with (m)any women.”

    What we want, will settle for and accept is another post enitely.


    miss young

  2. I may be missing something, but I don’t see anything wrong with him choosing not to settle down or DATE monogamously. If he does either before he is ready, he will lie and cheat. It is wrong if he is misleading women with promises of something greater than dates and casual outting. If he is clearly stating, through words and/or actions, that he wants to be single and enjoy the “perks” offered to him by the many women that he attracts, then he is well within his rights to function that way.
    It could be considered wrong (and unsafe) if he is sleeping with a handful of women just because he knows how to juggle them. It could also be considered wrong (cowardice) if he lets his intentions become muffled in the grey areas of his relationships. Wrong, in both cases, is relative. Just because two people are having intercourse or have been dating for a while, does not mean that they are in a relationship. A relationship is a concious agreement between two people who mutually decide that they want to commit their efforts to the growth of an established bond; based on respect, trust, communication, attraction, and the sharing of similar interests or values . Because the women have not set clear/upheld standard for themselves, they will get whatever the man choses to give them. And it seems that some (a lot) of women are accepting sub-par treatment.

    • Maybe I was unclear. I stated I can’t blame him. I don’t think he’s wrong for keeping his options open and not settling down. I think he’s wrong for other things I know about the WAY he does it. He does mislead and manipulate and on top of that he has “Hot Guy Syndrome”. He isn’t honest about how many (which is A LOT) women he is dating/sexing at the same time. And I don’t even mean specific numbers, bc I’ve said more than once on my blog it’s no one’s business. But I do believe men and women should be given the option of whether or not they want to sleep with someone who is also sleeping with several other people at the same time.

      Anyway, I’m an advocate of clarity and clear intentions.

      And I agree with you that women do settle for subpar treatment very often, and they allow men to take advantage of the fact that they want “someone”. That was kinda the point…

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