This Song Reminds Me Of… : Marsha Ambrosius Edition

“Some Type of Way”
I feel some type of way (yeah)
I feel some type of way about it
You only love me when you wanna get some!
And I feel some type of way about it
We’ve been playing the same game for too long
And I feel some type of way about it
I’m getting tired of sharing you with her
This whole shit is in the way
I feel some type of way

I Hope She Cheats on You”

“Look at how it all turned out now (Now that I’m without you)
She cute and all but that won’t last forever. What I had for you was so much better. Yeah the grass aint greener on the other side of town, now look at how it all turned out now. I’m a little bitter just a little bitter but I’m doing better cause we aint together. Ya sorry excuse for somebody I was into Remember what it was when I was with you.”

My new song obsessions (for the moment) come from one of my favorite artists, Marsha Ambrosius, previously of the group Floetry. I’m listening to them on repeat right now. These quotes from two of her more recent pieces speak directly to the way I felt not too long ago about one of my Ex-Kissez. He didn’t want to commit to me because he was so pressed to “sleep around”. We wasted so much time on the back and forth. Going through all of the motions of a relationship without the actual title just so he could feel free to court (read: fuck) some random girl if the opportunity presented itself <– which I’m not sure it ever did while we were together. I actually doubt it. And I’m not one to put anything past a man. Especially now with my hindsight being so clear.

Anyway, this story pertains to the song because not long after I decided I didn’t want to put up with the bull and feeling disrespected by him, he decided that pursuing random encounters (read: pussy) with no strings attached was just too hard. So after a few months of depression he decided he would get himself a girlfriend. For some reason, even though I knew beyond a doubt that I didn’t want him anymore, it hurt me so badly that he would jump into something serious with someone after only a couple of months. Wasn’t I the one who had invested a year and a half on him? What did I have to show for it? Nothing. I supported this dude when he didn’t have shit to offer me — both financially and mentally and some other chick was reaping the benefits of what I had sown. It wasn’t fair! Sadly, I know this is how it goes so much of the time in matters of the heart.

It may be wrong, but something not-so-deep  inside of me was hoping she hurt him the way he hurt me (ok I know it’s wrong, ut I’m human). I wanted her to use him the way he’d used me to come up. I had been feeding him, clothing him, taxing him, giving him a place to sleep when he didn’t want to be in the craziness of his own house… and this next girl came along showed a little bit of interest and he gave her the one thing I ever asked him for!

Oddly enough though, I don’t feel vindicated even though from what I understand, she wasn’t really good to/for him. She didn’t spend the time with him that he wanted. She didn’t seem that into him, from the beginning. I think his insetting loneliness began to press him and he overlooked certain things about her behavior. He thought the grass was greener in her yard but when he looked back at my garden, I’m sure it looked a lot prettier than it had when he was previously standing in it.  ::chuckle::

Side note: Doesn’t she look GREAT in the picture! Major weight loss. Go girl!

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8 Comments

  1. She look pretty good compared with how she use to look.

  2. I’m with you girl it’s natural to want him (them) to feel your pain. You’re mad at what they’ve done. Or better yet, what you’ve allowed them to do. Look inward at what inside you allows you to deal with their foolishness.

    Once you tweek the insecurity inside of yourself that allows men to use you – you won’t engage that type of drama. Because your spirit will reject it and you will see users for what they are well in the beginning.

    Don’t get me wrong, we all have been a victim of this situation at least once, but if this is something that happens repeatedly, you have to be accountable to yourself – not these men to you.

    Don’t want to come down on you, I’m just saying because I’ve been there and I had to change myself first because I deserve better.

    Be blessed.

  3. First of all, Marsha Ambrosius looks fantastic! I didn’t follow Floetry or their demise, just was into them in the year or so they were hot in the US.

    As for you, it’s human to have ill feelings toward someone especially when you invested a lot of yourself in him. That “it’s complicated” kind of relationship doesn’t work when you want more. You have a caring heart and guys can spot that in a millisecond. I hope your next relationship involves more give AND take.

  4. Hey all you righteous people! LoL
    Don’t come down on me… I said “I know it’s wrong”!
    This situation sadly can be a description of MORE than one dude I’ve been in involved with. I know these things already. I haven’t changed who I am or the things I bring to a “relationship”. I’ve never ever ever ever tried to get revenge on any of the guys who’ve hurt me. These are just my THOUGHTS and FEELINGS, not actions. Don’t act like you ALL haven’t been salty when you were played by someone. It doesn’t mean you really wish that person harm. It just means you’re human with regular emotions. Obviously I know I was there for him (them) at a time when they needed the help and I didn’t ask for anything in return, nor did I really expect anything other than their respect… which wasn’t always given.
    Soo, uhm… yeah.
    Thanks for the comments though!
    It’s all beautiful 😉

  5. I totally agree with the first comment. We are often so selfish in our outlook of life and don’t even realize it. For all you did for this dude, you feel a sense of resentment for what he didn’t give you. Life is about giving, point blank period. When we fully understand that, we will have a better understanding of the relationships and encounters we have. With you just being you and helping dude how you did, you might have literally changed his life. If you truly ever cared for him, another jawn giving him hell will NOT make you feel any better, trust. Relationships are as fragile, tempormental and frugile as life itself, have gratitude for the experience and its on to the next…on, on to the next one! #givethanks

  6. I hope she cheats is all good and well, but unfortunately we never get to see the outcome of Karma. As someone told me…when you’re pressed to see it, karma becomes revenge. Revenge is so dirty and messy. Ultimately you won…whether you see it or not.

    I hate that song, by the way. Lol…its so catty. But I do love her as an artist. I liked her better chubby tough.

  7. hindsight’s always 20/20. there’s nothing wrong with wishing someone could understand how you felt. sucks he had to learn the hard way, but most people do. glad you kept it moving. and yes. she does look good. i had to scroll up and relook cuz i didn’t even realize that was her!

  8. Glad you moved on. There’s nothing like dealing with someone who takes and takes and doesn’t give back. It pretty much sucks.


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