Look What I Can Do!

Puppy Love! lmao

Who doesn’t remember their first time? (well some of you don’t, but. . . yikes!)

You already know I’ve been reminiscing more than ever so far in 2010. Recently I was talking with my “First” on facebook. Conversations with him always bring about a feeling of nostalgia. I’m transported back to high school, when I was the good girl who was shy around the boys I liked. This dude was more than the guy who broke me into my womanhood, he was really my first love. I would’ve done anything for him back then. And I knew he sincerely loved me too. He used to walk me home after school even though I lived nowhere near him. He went at least an hour out of his way to do it. He bought me gifts, even if it was just a candy bar or a lollipop. He always had candy. I actually still have a ring he bought me with a pink heart shaped stone set in it. It came in a red heart shaped box. Of course as young people do, we used to break up every other week and get back together. I think it was mostly my fault though. When I was 14 , 15 & 16 I wasn’t fully capable of telling him how I felt all of the time. He used to try hard but I was quiet, and barely able to look him in the eye when we were around each other sometimes. I’d shut up completely when other people were around too. I eventually grew out of it with him, but clearly I’ve always been bad with interacting with men.

Not to say that he didn’t have any faults. He kissed other girls while we were supposed to be together. He broke up with me and started dating this girl my friends and I used to call “the yo-yo”, who was supposed to be his “female best friend” (b.s.). She was pretty but had the biggest set of teeth I’ve ever seen! And she had the nerve to be the type of girl who laughs out loud with her head thrown back and mouth wide open… smh. I digress. Our troubles were a little bit of both of us.

Despite the shortcomings in our relationship, the summer after he graduated when I was 15, he convinced me it was something that needed to happen and he charmed his way into my undies. We weren’t officially together or dating anymore but we still hung out and talked consistently. This day picked me up in his grandparents E320 Mercedes (my favorite car back then because it had circle lights… it’s the little things that attract me to everything lol). I wore my shortest pair of short shorts. Funny that I can remember my legs sticking to the leather seats, but I can’t remember if we planned to “do it” that day or if I just had a feeling it was going to happen. Anyway, I was prepared… if anyone can really ever be prepared for their first time.

I’ll spare you guys the details, but I will say I was scared. I definitely think it could be closest I’ve come to an out of body experience. I watched an entire program on Animal Planet (or maybe it was the Discovery channel) about Hippos giving birth. How ironic, I know. The sight of that should have completely threatened me out of the act I was trying to accomplish at the moment! I was determined to permanently misplace my V-Card.

I don’t know about you all, but my first time on that bike was definitely a disaster. It wasn’t the beautiful fairy tale that I imagined it would be. I did feel special because I loved him, but thinking back it’s up there with the worst sex I’ve ever had. LoL, but definitely the most meaningful.

After talking to him casually on Facebook I got on Twitter! I received sooo many responses to this tweet :

You ever wanna go back & have sex with your “first”,  just to say hey “these are all the things I’ve learned since my first lesson” #justme?

Most people said they’d definitely do it. Some said they already had. I got one “no” and two “I can’t comment” replies <– lol @ people commenting to say they can’t comment… that’s a YES!

If he was still a single man I would recreate that day in a heartbeat. This time I’d give him some of the best “stuff” I’ve acquired over the past decade. I’d set my place up just like his grandparents’ basement and act all innocent again, then I’d say “Hey! Look what I can do now!” … LoL okay I won’t go into more detail but that afternoon would be full of grown up activities this time! 😉


1 Comment

  1. Maybe if he wasn’t dead and this was a couple of years ago. But he’s dead and this is not a couple of years ago, so no.

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