Mixed Signals

I’m 25 years old, and I feel like I’ve had a good share of dating experience. . .

But sometimes I still feel like I’m new to this mess!

I’m pretty good at reading people. VERY good at reading men. I just don’t always follow what I know would be the rational thing to do. Often I’m just curious how things will play out so I ride it out to the end.

Anyway with that said, I think I’ve just been the victim of the mixed signal! What’s up with that? Your actions are relaying to me the opposite of what your mouth is saying. Your body is doing things that it wouldn’t if the words you were saying were actually true. So dude are you interested or not???

Let me clarify though… by “body & actions” I mean the things that are usually clear unspoken indicators of interest.

  • touching- light taps, tickles (ugh! I hate being tickled), unnecessarily leaning in close to someone, light caresses on the arm or leg (depending on sitting or standing)
  • Winks (for the old school… who winks still? LoL)
  • Random coy smiling
  • Finding reasons to be in someone’s presence that may not really be warranted.

Let me know if I’m wrong. . . I’m sure all of these things can be figments of the imagination though . . . sooo I guess that’s why it’s called a MIXED signal. smh

UPDATE!

After thinking about this a few minutes longer, I realized I left out the other viewpoint.

On the flip side of the whole signals/flirting thing, sometimes just being nice to someone can get them confused! Smiling and enjoying the conversation is not an automatic green light. It can be very tricky to decipher the thin line between actual interest and being friendly. I don’t know, sometimes I wish I had a “people decoder”! It would make life much easier!

You thoughts?


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7 Comments

  1. Why can’t a guy just be nice and flirt. Im sorry it is my job, sometimes, to flirt and get women to buy stuff. I wouldn’t really call it flirting I would call it charm. But, just because a guy gives you the eye, engages in conversations from time to time, buys you a drink, or even wants to get lunch with you doesn’t mean that he is trying to “get with you”. Things do not always work like that. I do it to make money to put it plain. Yea it maybe misleading but do not be so nieve all the time. “Everything that glitters isn’t gold”.

    • Of course, I don’t believe every guy I engage in meaningful (or light) conversation with is trying to get together! I meant certain ACTIONS that are usually specific to flirting. Like frequent unnecessary touching, etc. . . But I don’t disagree that sometimes men and women get their signals crossed. Hence, my post. smh

  2. Ok, I have a mixed signals experience. There was this new guy at my job. Fine and he was always dressed to the nines. We didn’t work in the same office but we worked for the same company. Anyhow, this guy would always give me the eye, you know how they do. Every time I look over he’s looking and we would flirt over email and phone calls. So we are at a co-workers gathering one evening and we are flirting ‘hard’. As the party ends we decide to grab a drink together, however upon arriving we learn the bar is closed. We instead sit in my car and talk for almost two hours. As he is about to gets out of the car, we give a side hug. He continues to talk then there is another side hug that leads to him kissing me. Now, I’m not saying it was one sided, but he initiated it- and I reciprocated.

    Well moving forward, we never went out, made plans but something would always come up, we still flirted and made sure to constantly talk and email each other at work. Then at an office going away party about a month after ‘the kiss’ the boss puts him on the spot saying “And you know who else may be walking down the aisle soon….. “the kisser”!

    Ugghh, at this point I excused myself from the party. Are you kidding me? Was there additional conversation after that, yes, he called me right after I left and said the boss was talking about his ex and he was not in a relationship…. Sure! I have since learned that this guy is just a flirt, he loves the attention and love being admired.

    I’ve also since met his girlfriend!

    • wow. just wow.
      that was definitely the extreme end of the “mixed signal spectrum”!
      what was the purpose of him kissing you?! shaking my head at that one.

  3. I too have been a victim of Mixed Signals..that’s when I let the guy know or I asked “What are you looking for?” because your actions tell me one thing while you words say soemthing completey different..idk…

  4. * I meant someone’s words don’t match their actions*

  5. You are NOT wrong, I’m with you on this! I absolutely HATE when someone’s words don’t mix their actions.. Because I don’t wanna play myself and think that somebody is digging me when they are just really being “nice”, I try to be as upfront as possible about what I’m thinking and find away to express what I think that those body and actions actually mean.. Instead of having a people decoder, why don’t they just say what the hell that they do or don’t want!!!


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